8 Kinds of Kink Even the Most Conservative Women Can Try

E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey wasn’t an international best-seller because men flocked to buy the book. Clearly, women are into a little (or a lot) of kink. But how many of us really take those desires beyond the books we read and into our bedrooms? One reason we might not whip out sex toys with our significant other is because we’re worried we’ll be judged. Or perhaps we’re comfortable with our more conservative moves and don’t know how to shake things up without going too far. Whatever the reason, I’ve rounded up eight kinky things you can try worry-free with your S.O. They’re likely more wild than what you do on the regular but not so crazy you’d be scared to suggest them.

Kinky Things to Try With Boyfriend Husband

Take it to a mirror. The next time you’re mid-nookie with your man, whisper in his ear just how sexy he looks—and suggest you get an even better view. Lead him to a mirror and lean yourself in front of it, allowing him to enter you from behind. You’ll get to watch him enjoy himself, and he’ll get a view of you from the back and front. It’s also fun to lean a mirror next to your bed, so you can watch as you get it on from different positions.

Talk dirty to him. A “you feel so good inside me,” always works, but turn up the heat on your dirty talk by describing the sensations you’re feeling, giving him (gentle, encouraging) directions, and telling him what you want to do to him before you do it. You may find that whispering about how a touch feels or being forward with what you want enhances what you’re experiencing in the moment.

Be cold. Ice cubes aren’t just for cooling your beverages. If you want to give your S.O. a new kind of surprise, offer to pleasure him as he relaxes on the couch. But before you go downtown, pop an ice cube in your mouth. It’s the cheapest sex toy around, and will offer him thrilling—and chilling—sensations.

Send a racy text. Be as brave as your vocabulary permits. You can send a simple, suggestive message—”I can’t wait to touch you tonight,” for example—or something more bold, such as a step-by-step guide to what you’ll do to him the second he walks through the door. What about telling him you simply can’t wait for him and you’re getting started without him. Knowing he will walk in on you pleasuring yourself could amp up your experience as you wait and will certainly make him hurry home to you!

Tie him up—with his own tie. Maybe you’ve backed off the idea of bondage because buying handcuffs or other restraints is just too freaky for you. But chances are he has something in his closet or around his neck that will work just fine. Or, if you dig a more submissive role, whip one out and hand it to him, asking if he’d like to tie you to the headboard and have his way with you. Do you think any man would say no?

Go blind. You can take that same tie and use it as a blindfold, shielding your partner’s eyes from your next moves, or taking away your own sight while he goes to town on your body. When you block off one sense, your body intensifies its others. His touch, or yours, will feel electric and surprising. The key here is to refuse to let him know where you’ll touch him next, or to tell him to do the same to you. Guessing where his hands or mouth will be next is part of the fun!

Find pleasure in the fridge. Make an ice cream sundae, but rather than top your vanilla confection with hot sauce or whipped cream, rub a dab on your lips or neck and ask him to lick it off. As things heat up, paint some of your other erogenous zones with deliciousness he’ll lap up with pleasure.

Let a massage lead to something more. Much like using a tie from the closet, for this you need nothing more than the lotion you already keep by your bedside. Offer to relieve some of his stress with a back rub, but as you feel his muscles relax, flip him over for some frontal attention. It’s as if once you put your hands on him, you couldn’t help yourself but to turn things sexual.