There are numerous ways to make your sex life as exciting as it once was, and one of the most popular ones is having a threesome. It’s quite a kinky experience because it’s edgy and somewhat taboo. Nevertheless, many people enjoy having a third person in bed with them and their significant other.
If you don’t make sure you follow the basic guidelines before you engage in it, the whole pervy idea may backfire and blow up in your face. Luckily, we’re here to help you out and answer some common threesome questions. We’ll go through the ins and outs of this sexual experience, allowing you to establish ground rules.
Let’s jump into it, shall we?
But First, Is It Wrong to Have a Threesome?
It’s no secret that most people think of sex as something you should only consume with your one and only partner. Having a threesome and showing interest in other people except your significant other used to be a big taboo and still is to some extent. However, is it that bad to have an additional person come between your bedsheets? Is it immoral and perverse?
Well, we’d say no. Group sex isn’t a modern invention — it was a big thing back in the ancient days of Greece and Rome. Different people have different sex drives and desires, and restricting their sexualities to traditional monogamy isn’t the answer. Hence, if both partners agree to invite another person to have sex with them, we’d say it’s A-OK.
In reality, it’s just another way to spice up your sex and relationship. Kinks are many and all over the place, so there’s no need to stigmatize something consensual and between grown adults. Nonetheless, we’d agree that having a threesome in a relationship isn’t for every horny couple out there. It’s a slippery slope, and here’s why.
What Do You Want to Gain Out of It?
Before the two of you opt to try it, it’s important to ask yourselves one question — what kind of threesome would you like? You see, threesomes can work both ways. You can have two girls and one guy — or the other way around. Also, there’s cuckolding, i.e., watching your partner having sex with another person.
Having two women by your side is every horny teen’s wet dream. However, it’s not that easy to pull off since not everyone can handle two girls who are waiting to be pleased. Sure, it works in porn when you’ve got a guy who fucks like a machine. In reality though, most men can’t handle two girls without one of them feeling left out.
On the other hand, two guys and one girl sounds fun too. Still, the girl needs to know that double penetration is tricky to pull off. Also, your man might get pretty jealous if you give more attention to your guest with more meat between his thighs. What can we say about cuckolding except that it can break even the hardest of people?
What Should Not Happen?
No one can deny that threesome experiences can bring couples even closer than they were before. They’re a great way to explore your sexualities and desires. That said, they can also bring about damage that might prove hard to repair if you don’t set firm boundaries. Therefore, it’s essential to talk it over before you risk long-term hurt feelings.
Some might find it easier if you agree there’s no kissing with the third person or if you completely disregard penetration with them. You see, in the end, it all comes down to the two of you. Having sex with someone else invites jealousy if you’re not confident in your relationship. It’s one of the hardest parts of this experience, and you shouldn’t take it lightly.
What Is the Safe Word?
Like with any other sex act, having that one word that suggests that something’s off without breaking the moment is vital for threesomes too. For instance, if one of you begins to experiment with things that you didn’t agree to, you should immediately voice your disapproval. The safe word can be anything you’d like it to be. It’s all up to you.
On the other hand, safe words can imply that something you have agreed upon isn’t turning out the way you thought it would. Let’s say you’re having two-guy-one-girl sex, and they want to penetrate you through both your holes. At first, this might sound like a great idea, but double penetration can hurt if you’re not familiar with anal sex. So bringing up the safe word can help you avoid a horrible experience.
Who Will Initiate It?
Talking about sex can be pretty weird, let alone talking about including others in your private life. So you’re probably wondering how to ask someone to have a threesome with you and your partner and not make it unpleasant. First, you have to talk to each other and agree to it. After that, you should talk about the type of person you’d like to include.
If you have a friend or acquaintance you think would accept such an offer, you should contact them and ask them if they’re available. Be honest about it, but don’t make it formal, like a job interview. If you don’t have friends like that, you can always go online on social networks such as Reddit and post your interest in subs about threesomes.
Don’t be surprised if a lot of people send you DMs afterward. Like we’ve said, lots of people are into it. Still, don’t be naive and check them before you invite them over. Ask for their number or video call them to see if they’re who they say they are. Also, you should meet in a public place before you head to your apartment or a hotel room.
What Are You Guys Going to Talk About After?
Talking after sex can often feel awkward. Moreover, talking after a threesome can be more than weird. However, this doesn’t mean that you should pick up your things and leave immediately. The thing is, you should share your thoughts about what just happened and talk about whether you’d like to repeat the experience.
Go into details and don’t be shy to comment on the negatives. That’s the only way to make sure that it gets better next time. Be honest about everything, ask questions, and be sure to listen. You don’t want to make the other person feel like they’re just a sex toy for the two of you if you want them to come back next time.
Of course, you should talk about it privately afterward — just the two of you. See how your partner feels about repeating it, but don’t pressure them if they’re not ready to talk about it. Make them feel like you care about their feelings and be ready for compromises. Threesomes are great and all, but once you try them, nothing will be the same again.
